I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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