you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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