my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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