So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
