Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I touched a dick in church today
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
