Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
