Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
