im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
