this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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