Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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