she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
