I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize