I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
