I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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