well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
