we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
