Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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