I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
