there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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