so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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