Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
