Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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