Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
