So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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