I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
