Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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