You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
