I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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