yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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