Pappa wants mamma naked
I have demons in me.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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