i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
