one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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