we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
