i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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