Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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