She is in my trunk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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