yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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