Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
