The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
