You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
tell me about the eggs
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
