What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
