She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
