I wish I could teleport
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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