i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
