I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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