Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Say something about gay babies.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
