There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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