the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
