yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
