And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
