people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Did we literally take a cab across the street
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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