I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
